


the day you found me i remember what we wanted to be

by fightforyourwrite



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Diamond & Pearl & Platinum | Pokemon Diamond Pearl Platinum Versions
Genre: Coming of Age, F/M, Growing Up, Marriage, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pokemon, Pokemon Battles, Pokemon Journey, Pokemon Training, Shinou-chihou | Sinnoh Region (Pokemon), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:22:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28239156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fightforyourwrite/pseuds/fightforyourwrite
Summary: "and now whenever i meet your eyes i can see much more than we can ever say"(in which dawn's relationship with lucas is explored over the years)
Relationships: Hikari | Dawn/Kouki | Lucas
Comments: 1
Kudos: 23





	the day you found me i remember what we wanted to be

**Author's Note:**

> I must confess that I got the title and bookend quotes of the fic from Silver Storm's english cover of Acacia from the Pokemon GOTCHA! video. Check it out because that song makes me very emotional. 
> 
> Also I know that the idea of a young teenage studying theoretical physics at a professional level is unrealistic, but I must bring up that in the Pokemon universe, kiddos can legally run away from home at 10 and Pokespe even has an 8 year old earning a PHD. I bet the drinking age is probably 9. 
> 
> Also there is some mild Candice/Maylene, Roark/Gardenia, and Riley/Cheryl. It's so minor it felt dishonest to tag them but I still think ppl should know.

_the day you found me i remember what we wanted to be_

* * *

A long time ago you’re 13 years old. You’re known in Twinleaf for being the Top Coordinator’s daughter, the Twinleaf Junior Chess Champion, and the quiet girl who barely speaks.

You’re young, fresh-faced, and getting a Pokemon is the best thing that has ever happened to you. 

When Professor Willard Darwin Rowan shows you three little creatures you’ve only seen in books and TV, you find yourself gravitating towards the blue penguin the most. It’s feisty and prideful, yet you can already sense a bond forming between you two.

Your childhood friend Barry takes his pick after you and selects the small green turtle as his partner.

You begin to wonder where the remaining Pokemon will go, but the Professor simply closes his suitcase and goes on his way. He tells you and Barry to visit him in Sandgem when you can. Trailing after the man is his assistant, a young boy just about your age. 

The boy gently brushes past you and Barry. The way he politely mutters _“Uh, sorry folks”_ sticks with you in a way you have yet to understand. You and Barry watch as he goes through the grass to chase his employer. 

Suddenly you get an idea of where the adorable orange chimp will end up.

* * *

A day later, you come to Sandgem and find the Chimchar sitting on the shoulders of the assistant. 

You get formalities out of the way — you tell him your name is Dawn and he says that his is Lucas. You think it suits him. 

Lucas is a head of dark hair and a pair of pretty grey eyes. He smiles cheerfully like the 13-year-old is, but speaks with a kind of professionalism that comes across as more endearing than civil.

He explains that he works as both a personal assistant to the Professor and as a lab aide. His father is a high-ranking biologist who helps Rowan out in his studies. He gave his son the lab job because _someone_ needed to sweep the floors and keep the fridge stocked, but being somewhat bright for his age definitely helped Lucas get the gig. 

He seems nice for the most part. Most people your age don’t talk to you this way — you’re either too silent or too freaky to be around. The way your eyes look when you’re thinking makes you look intimidating, even if you don’t mean to be. The way you don’t often speak makes people think you’re dumb or aloof — it’s not the case, it’s either that words are unnecessary or that Barry is better off doing all the talking.

Lucas doesn’t mind. He smiles at you and you smile back because it’s the polite thing to do and your mother raised you with manners.

After the Professor entrusts you with a Pokedex and Lucas teaches you how to capture a Pokemon, you walk north to Jubilife and your thoughts begin to wander.

You think it’s interesting that you’ve known Barry for most of your life and it still took a decade for you to form the bond you have now, yet you’ve only known Lucas for a day and you feel like you’ve been friends for years.

* * *

The months of journeying and training go on and you discover that you’re not too shabby at this Pokemon trainer thing. You also realize that you and Lucas have more in common than you thought.

From being raised to know the region’s legends by heart, to being taught Sinnohan folk dances from the moment you could walk. You both care about Pokemon and have been raised around them all your life. You both love the notes of the same piano sonatas and know the lyrics to old west Sinnohan folk songs. 

Even in the ways you two may be different, you find a way to connect them.

You’re known in Twinleaf for being the coordinator’s daughter. He’s known in Sandgem for being the biologist’s son. 

You’ve made a small mark by proving to be a chess prodigy before the age of 10. He’s made a smaller one by displaying a gifted grasp on abstract mathematics before his 11th birthday. 

You understand battles and folklore more than your mother’s contests. Lucas understands numbers more than his parent’s arguments.

You don’t love Sinnoh’s endless cold, but you love it more than the way hot weather overwhelms you. He doesn’t love wearing contacts, but he loves it more than wearing his glasses.

You’d rather explore Sinnoh than ask your mother who your father is. He’d rather work as a lab aide than spend time at home being poked and prodded by his kid sister. 

It all makes sense in a way. 

You bump into Lucas every once in a while on your journey — sometimes he’s hoping to find you, other times it’s a happy coincidence.

When it’s intentional, Lucas is delivering a gift from the Professor, something the scholar thinks would help you on your journey. When it’s not, Lucas is just excited to see you. His eyes light up whenever you enter his sight. 

And more often than not, you’re excited to see him, because unlike Barry he doesn’t challenge you to battles, though your team is growing impressively strong. Lucas doesn’t ask you how many badges you’ve won, just how your Pokedex is going and how you’ve been. He talks to you like you’re friends and you appreciate that. 

Sometimes you spend time chatting under trees or enjoying cups of pecha berry tea in cafes. Sometimes you let your Pokemon out so that you and Lucas’s teams can play together. 

Your starter appears to recognize Lucas and he explains that it’s because he raised the trio from when they were eggs. Your Prinplup pokes curiously at his Chimchar — it has yet to evolve but Lucas is in no rush to form his team. 

There’s one day where you explore Eterna Forest together. He takes you to a rock in the south west end and shows you how to evolve your Eevee into a Leafeon. There’s another day before your sixth gym battle where you spend hours in Canalave’s library together. He shows you his favourite book about the beginning of the universe and you show him your favourite book about Sinnoh’s folklore. 

You begin to appreciate these little moments between you and him. Because as you travel farther into the region, the world you find seems to get darker and darker. Danger appears to be hiding every corner, you can’t avoid it. It makes you wonder if you’re just some cosmic plaything that Arceus cursed with the misfortune of running into trouble everywhere you go. 

From space cults to nihilists, from lake guardians to the beings of time, space, and antimatter, the world you live in proves to be a different place than you thought it’d be. 

But you find a way to live with it.

You realize that as difficult as life can be, it is worth living as long as you can see light at the end of the tunnel. Although you’re young, your voice is only used for loved ones, and you’ve still got a lot to learn, you find it in you to keep going. 

So you battle the space cults, you battle the nihilist in hell, you free the lake guardians, you witness the beings of space and time bound by red chains, and you fight a demon in a world beyond your wildest nightmares. 

Because when trouble finds you and refuses to leave, you can either run from it or challenge it to a battle.

And you’re not one to say no to a fight.

* * *

You grow up a bit more. Over a year has passed since you got your first Pokemon.

It takes you three tries to defeat Cynthia. In the first battle, she retains three of her team members after her Milotic finally annihilates your Magmortar. In the second, you find yourself fighting back stressful tears when her Spiritomb takes down your Dusknoir. In the third, both teams get whittled down to their last players. Your Empoleon manages to take down her esteemed Garchomp with a single, lucky Ice Beam. 

Then suddenly you’re the champion. 

The whole region suddenly has its eyes on a young girl from Twinleaf Town. Sinnoh watches as you dethrone Cynthia in a breathtaking battle, then take your steps into the Hall of Fame. 

You don’t want the position to change you. You still want to be the same quiet, soft-spoken, mild-mannered Dawn that you are. 

You continue on with your life and head to Sinnoh’s north east where the Battle Frontier and Stark Mountain await your arrival. You fight trainers that are wicked strong, much more powerful than the ones on the mainland. 

Something you learned about on your journey is that your sense of justice is stronger than you thought it was. So you head up the mountain and fight a few remaining Team Galactic grunts, then witness the strange man you met in Jubilife over a year ago arrest the final one remaining. 

The media starts to give you attention. Cameras get pointed in your direction, reporters become far more interested in you than they ever were with your mother. The tabloids gush about how beautiful you will look once you transition from a cute teenager into a full grown woman. 

Sometimes the attention makes you uncomfortable, but you know better than to lash out against it. Your mother certainly taught you a thing or two about handling the spotlight. Sometimes you call her and she gives you tips and pointers about handling a crowd, like when to smile and when to give them a big finish. 

You take up residence in a villa in the Resort Area. Having lived a modest life in Twinleaf, you wonder if the place really suits you. People come to the place to relax and show off their wealth, you’re here because someone gave you a villa and you found yourself unwilling to refuse.

You furnish the place with things you want — a piano, a bookcase, a sofa, a comfy bed. When you’re not training, you’re practicing your favourite piano sonata (but you’re utterly rusty.) When you’re not working with the league, you’re reading old Sinnohan folktales with the new knowledge that all the legends are real. When you’re not taking challengers, you’re napping because you’re sacrificing sleep to fit everything in. 

You get visitors every once in a while. 

When it’s Barry, you chat and battle him. When it’s Professor Rowan, you discuss the Pokedex and enjoy a cup of chesto berry tea with the esteemed scholar. When it’s Maylene, you spar hand-to-hand in the front yard and make the neighbours wonder what in Arceus’s name is the weirdo in the villa doing. When it’s Candice, you show off your team and she studies them with fascination. When it’s your mother, you watch movies together like when you were a kid. 

When it’s Lucas, you take in how he’s changed.

You don’t see him often now, usually there are months between your meetings. You notice that he’s grown a little bit taller. You have too, but even then you have to look upwards to meet his eyes. 

He looks more confident. Last you saw him, he was worried over filling the Pokedex and would state that he was worthless without it. Now when he smiles, it doesn’t feel like a front for smaller insecurities. When he cracks jokes, it’s not to distract from shortcomings or to downplay himself. He’s even wearing his glasses now, something he detested as a 13-year-old but now does with pride. He’s come to peace with his lack of battling skills and finds more value in his Pokemon’s friendship than their strength. There’s a new kind of assurance in him and you’re quick to take a liking to it. 

And after all this, you can still talk to him like an old friend. He’s still a cheerful, bright mind that’s eager to explore the world of Pokemon. You’re still a curious young girl that sees the world in your own special way. 

Lucas usually stops by your villa when he’s in the area, often doing research or running errands for the lab. He stops by to rest, but also to see you. 

As he’s resting, you two catch up over a pot of tea and a tray of gingersnaps. Sometimes you show off your work on the piano or the latest ribbon you’ve earned. Throughout your meetings, you come to find that his Monferno has finally evolved into an Infernape. Sometimes you let your starters play outside in order to properly catch up and even your Empoleon is always overjoyed to see their old friend again.

You learn more about what Lucas is researching, as he’s beginning to explore fields outside of Rowan’s usual work. After stumbling upon his mother’s old notebooks, Lucas had discovered a bunch of theories and equations regarding Giratina and antimatter. Once he went over them, he began creating some theories of his own. 

He decided to research this ever since your adventure in the Distortion World. You didn’t realize it then, but the few moments you spent in that dimension has opened up more scientific possibilities than you expected. The world of scholars apparently had a field day over the discovery. 

You smile, listen to Lucas’s words, and realize just how far you’ve come. You’ve both grown in your own ways — you still understand battles like they’re your own personal language, he still sees numbers and equations as the bridge between the human mind and the unknown. You have both managed to turn your different understandings into careers, a true blessing from Arceus if there ever was one.

Your world grows in its own ways. You manage to conquer the Battle Frontier, first earning the silver commemorative prints then finally the gold. It’s a glorious day when Palmer, a man who has watched you grow up, gets to witness you defeat him. In a way, he’s like a father you never had, so when you finally win a gold print, he hugs you and ruffles your hair like he does with his own son.

You meet the other champions of the world — Hilda from Unova is a boisterous but ruthless battler, Ethan from Johto _and_ Kanto is a kindhearted nature-lover, Brendan from Hoenn is cocky but lives up to his reputation, and Serena from Kalos is as compassionate as she is beautiful. 

Lucas manages to meet more researchers, sharing his theories with other scholars and earning some very well-deserved attention. One particular researcher in Alola is very impressed with what he’s been able to theorize by synthesizing old information with new.

He begins studying with other brilliant minds, leaving Rowan’s lab to converse with people in the field of theoretical physics in relation to Pokemon. There’s a resilient (but underfunded) lab at the base of Mt. Coronet that monitors space-time in Sinnoh. Last you heard, they set him up in a small room filled with blackboards and several boxes of premium Kantonian chalk to crunch numbers and present theorems all day. 

It doesn’t sound like the most appealing line of work, but you know him enough to know that he would be beyond happy to be given this privilege. So you smile for him and concern yourself with other things, like when you might see him again.

* * *

One day you’re just about 18.

Barry tells you that Lucas is planning on leaving Sinnoh for a while. There are plenty of internship opportunities overseas, many labs would kill to have a brilliant mind like his on their roster. 

You know that Barry would never lie to you, but for some reason you don’t want to believe him. 

Your heart sinks when you hear the news, so you tell Barry that there’s no way that would happen. It’s denial, but denial feels easier to swallow now. 

But Barry persists. He even stops your shared training session to tell you what he’s heard. Even he believes that you should know. 

You still don’t want to take in the truth and insist that the training continues. Barry agrees and lets his Heracross and your Gallade continue the fight. 

You keep the news in the back of your mind. You’re unsure whether you're more afraid of it being true or it being false.

* * *

Professor Rowan confirms the truth for you. When the old man stops by your villa for tea, he dispels any false words that may have reached you.

Lucas’s mother has been out of the region for many years, researching the Creation Trio at the Sinjoh Ruins for as long as her family can remember. She doesn’t intend to come back to her homeland anytime soon, but has offered her son an opportunity to join her at the Ruins. The contributions Lucas had made to her antimatter theories are invaluable. 

The trip would not be temporary, as there’s no telling just how long this sort of research will take. Lucas would be away from Sinnoh, but he would be studying among scholars in his field, something he had been dreaming about since he was a little boy. You know that because Lucas told you long ago, when you were no older than 13. 

The news makes your heart hurt. The idea of not seeing Lucas is something you’re not sure you can handle. Yet a part of you knows that it may be for the best.

Lucas has spent years of his youth trying to prove himself as a competent researcher. He beat himself up for letting his Pokedex fall into the hands of Team Galactic, the expectations of his critical father has been a heavy burden on his heart at a shockingly young age. When he realized he wasn’t as strong of a trainer as he thought he’d be, he felt as if his world was collapsing before his very eyes.

Going to study the Creation Trio at this caliber may be one of the greatest things that ever happened to him. 

You just wish that the news didn’t make you feel so heartbroken.

* * *

After a few months, Lucas comes by your villa. As per usual, you offer a pot of tea, but then he asks you if you want to go for a walk. Immediately, you know that he didn’t come all this way to study the wildlife. 

You agree and grab your topcoat before walking out the door with him. You stride down the beach, watching the waves crash onto the shore and the sun shining bright in the sky. 

You look to Lucas and take note of his pretty grey eyes behind the thick frames of his spectacles. You know what he’s going to say, so when you and him get to a more secluded part of the beach near a cave that fills with water at dark, you cut him off when he starts to speak.

“Dawn-”

“I know.”

Lucas raises an eyebrow at you. “You do?”

“That you’re leaving Sinnoh?” you continue. “To do research at the Sinjoh Ruins with your mother?” 

Lucas goes silent and looks down, placing his hands in the pockets of his coat. He pokes at the wet stand with the tip of his shoe, then asks, “... how’d you find out?”

“Barry told me, so did the Professor.”

He lets out a sigh and finally meets your gaze. “I’m sorry.”

You’re unsure what he means by that, so you press further. “Why?”

“That I didn’t tell you myself,” he explains woefully. “I… I fucked up, Dawn. For that… I’m very sorry.” He goes silent again, then forces himself to continue, “It’s just… out of everyone I was worried about telling… I thought about you the most.” 

The words hit you gently. You have a faint idea of what he may be trying to say, but your instincts may be betraying you.

“So what do you want me to say about it?” you question in a tone that sounds slightly accusatory. 

“How do you feel about me leaving?” he asks more directly.

What is there to say? 

You want him to stay, but you know you refuse to be the reason he holds himself back. 

You want to continue being in your life, but you know that there’s more to his existence than what he means to you. 

You can’t lie to him, so instead you decide to withhold the entirety of the truth. It doesn’t really feel like a lie if it’s for his own good. 

“I’m happy if you’re happy, Lucas,” you say truthfully.

“That’s all,” you say falsely. 

You step towards him, get on your tiptoes slightly, and embrace him with a hug. It’s a gesture you only reserved for loved ones. Considering how long you’ve known Lucas and how strongly you feel about him leaving, it’s fair to say that he counts. 

“Congratulations, by the way,” you whisper into his ear.

Lucas stiffens upon your touch, but he soon hugs you back as well. It’s a comforting feeling, his arms around you, you try not to get used to it. 

“Thank you, Dawn. It means a lot, coming from you.” 

You wonder why his words make your heart beat just a bit faster.

* * *

You get an invitation to Lucas’s going-away party. It’s from his grandfather, which makes you wonder if Lucas had trouble sending it to you himself. 

Nonetheless, you decide that it’s best to go. Lucas showed neverending support on your journey to become a champion. It’s only fair that you do the same. 

The party is in Rowan’s Lab, so you fly over on the back of your Togekiss. You recall your main flyer and make the short walk towards the building. It’s a cold Sinnohan night, you can see your breath turn to clouds and feel the chill biting your cheeks. 

When you enter the lab, it’s moderately crowded. For once, the people inside are not all dressed in white lab coats. Everyone is focused more on boozing and schmoozing than researching. 

You look around and you can recognize a few faces — Roark and Byron are here, as well as Gardenia, Candice, and Maylene. The faces you don’t recognize make you realize just how big Lucas’s world really is. You feel stupid for thinking that you were ever important enough in his life to matter. 

You hang up your coat and get a drink. On a table in the lab is a bowl of hot mulled spirit that’s dark red and smells like citrus fruit and spices. You get a whole mug full and feel a warming sensation in your chest whenever you drink it. It also has the added side effect of relaxing you. The concoction is dangerously delicious and makes the gathering more tolerable. 

You take more sips from your mug and try to navigate the party. From across the room, you eventually spot the man of the hour.

Lucas is standing between Professor Rowan and his father. With his glasses on, he looks like the spitting image of his old man, from the shade of their messy dark hair to the way they smile. They’re even the same height. To your surprise, anyone who looks like they could be Lucas’s mother is nowhere to be seen. You’ve only seen pictures of the lady and really thought you’d finally meet her in the flesh. 

Professor Rowan is smiling for once. He affectionately ruffles his former assistant’s hair, a rare thing to witness from such a stoic man. You realize that the Professor was not just a fatherly figure in your life, but in Lucas’s as well.

You consider approaching him, but Lucas is surrounded by people that you don’t know. He’s constantly giving out handshakes and smiles, listening to every _“congratulations!”_ being thrown his way. The wall of people around him becomes an impenetrable force that you can’t even dream of getting through.

You don’t want to ruin the mood either. Considering how your last meeting went and the fact that you haven’t spoken to him in months, you think that your presence would disrupt the celebratory ambiance. 

So you distract yourself with anything else. You spot a pair of familiar faces gravitate towards them. 

Candice is an absolute sweetheart. When she sees you, she cheers your name and pulls you into a warm hug. Maylene is behind her, being the one who holds the drinks while her girlfriend greets everyone in sight. Drunk Candice always tends to be more affectionate than sober Candice. 

You find yourself in a corner with Candice and Maylene, as aside from Lucas and the Professor (and Barry if he’s somewhere here), they’re the people you’re most familiar with. Maylene has been teaching you how to physically fight since you met years ago and Candice is always eager to befriend highly skilled trainers. 

Maylene proudly holds her left hand up to show you the diamond ring on her finger, Candice does the same and it takes you an embarrassingly long time to put two and two together. With a smile, you hug the both of them and congratulate your friends on their engagement. They ask you to attend their wedding and you say yes in a heartbeat.

You find yourself listening to Candice and Maylene’s wedding plans so much that the sound of the party begins to drown out. You drink some more, you listen some more, and soon you start to forget why you were so nervous coming here in the first place. 

In the late hours of the night, you find yourself in the lab’s kitchen. A good chunk of the guests have left already, as some have work in the morning or have had a little too much to drink. The image of Candice and Maylene working together to escort a drunk Gardenia out of the lab is one that you’ll never forget. 

You pour some tap water into a mug, as you’re parched from the party. While you sit on the counter and take gentle sips, you hear the sound of footsteps coming from the hallway.

“You came,” says a familiar voice. 

Lucas is standing in the doorway with a bottle in his hand and a surprised look on his face. 

“I had to see you one last time,” you admit sheepishly. 

You give him a nervous smile and he returns it. You take a sip of your water, then feel the sudden temptation to walk over and hug him like you did on the beach.

But you don’t do that.

You don’t need to give him another reason to stay. 

Lucas approaches you with slow steps and holds the bottle up. It’s some kind of sparkling wine from Kalos. 

“May I offer you a drink?” he says. “I sure could use one too.” 

You raise an eyebrow at him. “I thought you were happy to leave.” 

“I am,” he confirms. “Leaving to study, I mean. It’s just… saying goodbye to home is a lot harder than I thought.” 

When he says that, you find yourself nodding along to his offer. You dump the water in your mug into the sink and hold out the vessel. Lucas fills it up like a gentleman. He takes another mug from the cupboard and pours some bubbly for himself. He then puts the bottle down and holds his mug up as if it were a brass chalice. 

“To new beginnings,” he starts.

“And new adventures,” you finish.

You tap mugs gently and take a drink of the sparkling spirit. It goes down easy and you find yourself consuming more of it than you anticipated. It’s an interesting testament to how long your friendship has been — five years ago you two were just kids, now you’re both basically grown-ups and even more ready to take on the world. 

When you’re both done drinking, you remain sitting on the counter and Lucas remains in front of you.

He’s almost dressed like the Professor — a button-front shirt, a sweater vest, and a black tie that hangs loose from his collar. His hair is as scruffy as always and his glasses are nowhere near as bad as his younger self made them seem. You think he looks rather handsome like that, but maybe that’s just the sparkling wine speaking. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you all night,” you tell him sincerely. 

He gives you a gentle smile that makes your heart skip a beat. 

“It’s okay. I’ll write to you when I’m gone. I hear there’s wi-fi up in the Sinjoh Ruins.” 

You let out a polite chuckle. “There’s no need to worry about me, Lucas. Just live your dreams.” 

“Easier said than done, huh?” 

A silence follows. You can feel something in the air as a heavy wordlessness hangs between him and you. The saddened look he gives you doesn’t make you feel any better.

“I’ll miss you a lot,” you eventually say, keeping your eyes down on the ground. It feels cliche, but a part of you just needs him to know it. 

“Me too.” 

Suddenly his hand is on yours. He’s shaking. You look up and meet his grey eyes for what feels like the last time. 

Your heart continues to beat like mad. 

You think you can infer what he’s doing, but see it in his fragile gaze that he’s too shy to initiate any further, so you do the rest.

You lean forward and meet his lips with yours. 

.

.

.

The kiss is gentle and slow. Your forehead brushes with his. You find your arms moving upwards and snaking around his neck. You pull him closer and he reciprocates by doing the same. One of his hands plays with your hair and you grip onto the material of his shirt. 

You kiss him like it will get him to stay. You kiss him like you’ve been thinking about him from the moment you met. It took you a stupidly long time to realize that all his friendly smiles, casual texts, or his treks up to your villa existed because he felt something for you, something beyond the realms of casual friendship. Sometimes you think about how you look when he’s around, sometimes you find yourself caring too much about how neat your hair is or how well your clothes match, feelings you have never experienced with another person. You berate yourself for waiting this long to actually _act_ on your feelings, all those years wasted on doubts that were never really there. 

When you pull away from him, your eyes meet again. Your breathing feels rushed and your heart is beating inhumanly fast. Lucas is doing the same. 

You don’t know what else to do. You know that this won’t make him stay, you love him too much to hold him back. 

So you pull him into a hug, holding him close and letting your face fit into the crook of his neck. He knows you’ll miss him, you’ve shown him how much. He knows that you feel the same way now and you wonder just when did he start feeling that way about you. You’re too afraid to ask. If he loved you from the very first day, then your heart will break even more. 

He holds you in his arms and you hold him even tighter. You stay like this for a while, wondering if just how much you’ll regret it if you let go too early.

His flight leaves at noon and a confounded, unavoidable league meeting is the only reason why you can’t be there to see him off. You know he would understand why, but that doesn’t make you feel any better.

Twelve o’clock comes and goes like always. You push yourself to get through it in an attempt to act like nothing is wrong. At the end of the day, you find yourself back at your villa, looking up into the sky at the countless stars and you think about how the world must look like a bunch of lonely lights to the cosmos above. You see a plane flying in the south and his name slips into your mind.

You hope it’s for the last time.

* * *

The years go on and reality ensues. Staying in touch is as difficult as you thought. 

A televised charity match between you and Leaf — a wicked tough trainer from Kanto — graces the screens of the world. Your Empoleon and her Venusaur clash like meteors hurtling through the atmosphere. The match ends in a tie, but weeks later you’re suddenly swarmed with loads of trainers ready to take on the Elite 4 in the hopes of maybe facing you. 

It whittles down on your spare time, so when you’re not annihilating newbie challengers, you’re healing or training your team. 

As a result, emails and texts go unread. You send messages but don’t respond to new ones. You live your life and Lucas lives his. Sometimes you think about what it’s like researching all the way in the Sinjoh Ruins. You think about the cold and how it may compare to an average day at Sinnoh. You find a way to make peace with how things ended up between him and you. 

You make new friends and meet new people. You attend Candice and Maylene’s wedding as Maylene’s maid-of-honor. You think Candice looks absolutely gorgeous in her pale white wedding dress and that Snowpoint has never looked more beautiful. You think Maylene is now the luckiest woman in all of Sinnoh and wish them many many years of happiness in your speech at the reception. 

You watch your other friends get into relationships. You witness Riley meet Cheryl at the Battleground and suddenly he finds other reasons to leave Iron Island aside from re-challenging you. You run into Roark and Gardenia on a date in Floaroma Town, there’s a nervous, yet earnest gleam in both of their eyes and you secretly hope that they can make things work out.

You run into Lucas’s kid sister, Lucy. She’s attending Jubilife’s trainer school with the Clefairy that once belonged to her brother. She happily tells you that she’ll be at the league in no time, so you ruffle her hair playfully as a way of accepting her challenge. She tells you that her brother doesn’t write home often, but she’s used to it because neither does her mother. She says that she’s sure that Lucas misses you and you’re unsure on how that makes you feel. 

You move into a place in Canalave because you like the ocean but miss the west. The villa in the Resort Area remains under your ownership and you use it as both a vacation home and when you’re too tired to commute from the league to your townhouse. 

You don’t date because you’re okay with being single and no one has ever made you feel as passionate. Candice attempts to set you up on blind dates. It takes several polite rejections for her to finally get the idea. Sometimes you don’t like the way other men look at you, because part of you knows that they’re just interested in you for the glory associated with being a champion’s partner and not who you are underneath. You’re the toughest trainer in Sinnoh yet dating is the thing that you refuse to touch with a ten foot pole.

You finally get a vague hint as to who your father is. Your mother claims that he was a dashing, handsome policeman who went by many names — allegedly he worked for _Interpol_. She had a fling with him when she was young and never heard of him after he left Sinnoh, she didn’t even get a chance to tell him she was expecting. Her words cause a strange theory to form in your head, something that makes you think of the strange man you met in Jubilife long ago and hadn’t seen since your adventures on Stark Mountain. But the only thing you had in common with him was the same pair of eyes. You don’t think about that for too long in fear of causing more lifelong regrets. 

You practice fighting with Maylene more. She teaches you more takedowns to the point where you could maybe survive a scuffle without the help of your Pokemon. There are days where you find yourself tossing her onto the mats more than she does to you. You become proficient with a bo staff, something you use to enhance your training with your Empoleon, Gallade, and Leafeon.

You become a patron of various charities. One helps fund trainer schools in impoverished areas, another helps the preservation of Sinnoh’s ancient monuments, and several are dedicated to protecting the environment around the region, especially the lakes. 

You meet Nate, the current champion of Unova who fears that he’ll never live up to the expectations set before him. He’s shy, quiet, and a few years younger than you. When you look at him, your mind begins to think about your teenage self and whether or not you acted in a similar vein. 

You establish a correspondence with Serena the Kalos Champion, a master of Mega Evolution and a region-wide fashion icon. Through her invitation, you end up coming to Kalos for a few months to study the art for yourself. Your french is utterly horrible, but you manage to impress a man in a coastal city named Gurkinn and he gives you a Key Stone Mega Ring in return. The ring fits on your left middle finger and your Gallade happily holds a sphere of Galladite to complete the transformation. 

You read folktales from beyond your homeland and begin wondering just how everything is connected. You become more interested in the field of history and anthropology and considering going into academics yourself. 

Life goes on and you learn to get by. There are days where you’re beyond happy, there are others where your thoughts get dark and you cannot bear to leave your home. Yet when duty calls and Sinnoh needs its champion, you buckle and embrace the unknown.

* * *

One day you’re 21 and adult life seems to be treating you well. The Sinnoh media glows with praise whenever you show off a new look or start a new fashion trend. Turtlenecks have always been popular in Sinnoh, but the photos snapped of you in a heated match against Bertha has caused sales to rise through the roof. 

You commute everywhere for work now. When you’re not at the League, you’re training in the north east. When you’re not prepping younger Pokemon to add to your team, you’re attending interviews and photoshoots in Jubilife and Hearthome. You still find time to do familiar things, such as visiting your mother, saying hi to Professor Rowan, and kicking Barry’s ass. 

On a rainy afternoon, you walk to Sunyshore City from Valor Lakefront. The droplets beat down on your umbrella but you pray that it stops by the time you get to the city. 

You head to a cafe to wait out the rain. As you drink your cup of chesto berry tea, your Pokegear receives a text from Mira, the Elite Four’s newest member. The meeting has been postponed by two hours, a fortunate incident as the rain in the sky has started to cease. The clouds begin to part to reveal the sun shining in the great big blue. 

So you leave the cafe and walk down the streets in the aftermath of a downpour. You love this kind of weather, when the droplets drip off awnings and street lamps and are illuminated by the light. You let your Empoleon out of his Pokeball to share this moment with him. 

You go to the lighthouse and head to the top viewpoint, a place you haven’t visited in over a year. 

The elevator door arrives in a large wide room accompanied by a large wide window. Outside is the big blue sky and the big blue sea. Waves crash against the rocks. The sun above peaks through the clouds and shines a light on the world.

There are only a handful of people around you — some young, some old, some exactly your age.

You go to the window and take in the view. It calms you just like it did when you were young. 

Suddenly your Empoleon lets out an excited squawk and starts jumping up and down, something he rarely ever does. You turn your head to see what has your partner so excited, and then you see him.

It’s been three years and he hasn’t changed a bit. 

He still wears the same glasses, the same dorkish sweaters, holds the same gaze, and smiles the same smile. He still has a familiar air of earnestness to him, something that immediately strikes a familiar chord with you. 

“Hi,” he greets softly. “Remember me?” 

You don’t believe what you’re seeing at first, so like an idiot you just stand there and blink.

“Lucas?”

Like the notes of your favourite song, everything falls into place. 

You find yourself smiling. You drop everything — your bag and your wet umbrella — and find yourself jumping into his arms. You hug him dearly, as if the last time wasn’t hard enough. You feel him lift you up and spin you around and by Arceus, that feels so _good_. You can’t stop yourself from smiling as he holds you, and you finally say the name you’ve been missing for years: 

_“Lucas.”_

* * *

You slip to each other’s lives again. It turns out that after his stint at the Sinjoh Ruins, Lucas worked in Alola for a year to monitor space-time at the Dimensional Research Lab in Heahea City. It was through his work with the brilliant Professor Burnet that he nabbed another research job that would take him back to Sinnoh. The DRL was opening a branch in Eterna City as an extension of their studies and Professor Burnet recommended Lucas for a position there herself. In a way, it would replace the lab at the base of Mt. Coronet that had to close due to lack of funding. 

Lucas took the job because he missed his home and you’re beyond overjoyed that he did. 

Your life goes on quite simply. You continue commuting around for battles and charity work and corporate sponsorships. Lucas gets started in Sinnoh’s Dimensional Research Lab, where his office consists of a personal coffee maker, many many blackboards, and his own personal stash of his favourite Kantonian chalk. 

Lucas and you hang out a lot more and get along without missing a beat. Like when you were young, you and him drink tea in cafes, check out the Canalave Library, and train your teams. Sometimes you find yourself holding his hand and doing so tightly because you don’t want to let him go ever again. 

Lucas has gotten a lot stronger since travelling around. His Infernape is much tougher, his Riolu finally evolved into a Lucario, and he even brought back a wicked Pokemon from Alola named Vikavolt. 

You go on more adventures together. When Lucas says he wants to check for signs of the legendary golems in Mt. Coronet, you say you’re right behind him and follow him to the caves to meet the beasts. 

Your relationship forms gently. You’re both tired of holding it in and wasting time fearing rejection, so you go on dates together. When the Hoenn Champion Brendan announces his engagement to the famed researcher May Birch, you ask Lucas to be your plus-one to the wedding. To your delight, he agrees. 

Sometimes you sleep next to him in your Canalave Townhouse, other times you crash in his ground floor apartment in Eterna City. You bring him dinner when he’s too busy working to eat, he brings you your favourite tea and milk bread when he knows you’ve had a long day of battling and training. 

At one point, he starts getting tired of all the commuting between homes. You ask him if he’d like to live with you and he says yes. You refurnish the place together, adorning the walls with Alolan art and paintings of the Creation Trio. 

You join him when it’s time for his sister’s graduation from Jubilife’s trainer school. You have to hide your face to avoid stealing attention. From the crowd, you smile at every trainer on stage and get psyched at the sight of your next batch of challengers. 

You travel to Kalos with Lucas to meet Professor Rowan’s former pupil, Professor Augustine Sycamore. You travel to Alola to meet Lucas’s former mentor, Professor Burnet. You travel to Galar to learn more about the G-max phenomenon. You travel to Johto to meet the champion Ethan again and he offers to take you and Lucas up to Mt. Silver for an adventure. 

Sometimes Lucas’s work takes him to labs around the world. Sometimes he leaves for weeks to study, yet somehow you find contentedness in this.

Because with Lucas by your side, you discover a new kind of happiness you had only ever dreamed about. At night you sleep next to him soundly, as if you’ve finally started living life in the good seats. 

* * *

You’re 23 when Lucas asks you to marry him. 

His proposal is somewhat informal. He doesn’t do it at a candlelight dinner, he stutters a lot when speaking, he doesn’t preface the question with a speech about how far you’ve come, he even forgets to get down on one knee first because he’s so damn nervous.

But he asks you in Floaroma Town when the sun shines bright and the flowers bloom. He kisses you dearly, then whispers the words when his forehead is pressed against yours: 

_“Be my wife. Will you?”_

In your hands he gently shows you a diamond ring. It’s in a plain box, it’s simple and elegant, and when you see it shining in the sun your heart starts beating so fast you swear that it will burst out of your chest.

So you say yes.

_Yes, you’ll be his wife._

_Yes, you’ll marry him._

_Yes, you’ll take that vow._

* * *

The word of you and Lucas’s engagement spreads fast. Your mother cries when she hears the news, Barry cries even more, Candice jumps for joy while Maylene pats you happily on the shoulder, Professor Rowan even gives you a small smile. 

You push back on your publicist’s insistence that you have a public wedding. Lucas backs you up, as he wants to get married in private as well.

You get married on Sandgem’s shores, close to where your journey started all those years ago. 

You wear a pale white dress to the ceremony that has a floral pattern embedded into the fabric. Lucas wears a steely blue suit and a floral tie. The weather is mild but the sun shines bright in the sky. When he sees you walking down the aisle, you can’t even find the words to describe the way his eyes shine. 

You swear you can hear Barry sobbing harder than your own mother. It makes you want to laugh and cry at the same time. Lucas’s family is here as well — his aging grandfather, his proud dad, his sister, even his mother came down from the Sinjoh Ruins to see her son get married. 

Petals of Gracidea flowers are scattered around the sand, a staple of Sinnohan weddings. You and Lucas stand at the altar and listen to the minister speak. Your heart cries out this is where you belong as you and Lucas exchange vows and place rings on each other’s fingers. 

You both say _“I do,”_ then you and Lucas share your first kiss as husband and wife. The sound of clapping erupts around you, a noise that mixes well with the waves crashing on the shore. 

When it’s over, you take Lucas’s hand, hold it tight, and take your first steps with him by your side. 

Somehow everything has led here. You can’t help but realize that while it seems like one journey is ending, the true adventure is just waiting to begin.

* * *

_and now whenever i meet your eyes i can see much more than we can ever say_

**Author's Note:**

> This got long. Very long. One of the longest fics I've ever done. 
> 
> I also edited this at 4AM. Can u tell?
> 
> lol


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